Bakersfield Man, Arrested for “Pussiness”

Yesterday night, a Bakersfield man was caught hiding in his basement while burglars were making off with his possessions.  When confronted by the police, the man confessed that he was too scared to approach the thieves and decided it would be safest if he hid in his basement.

As a result, police have no leads or clues on thieves and arrested the man for impeding an on-going case.  The man is claiming in his defense that he is the one pressing charges and should be released.  His trial is still pending.

Sgt. Adams, the arresting officer at the scene noted that the man was”quite hysterical and aggressively refusing to answer critical questions.”

Miles James, a neighbor of the defendant said that he did not expected this at all.  “We watch WWE together and go hunting every few months.  I can’t believe he’s such a pussy”.

In light of the court results of the Texas man, Joe Horn, law enforcement are cracking down on citizens who hesitate to protect their own home or property.  Thus leading to an increase in workload for the already depleted police force.



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